Chris Brown. Drake. John Mayer. Jason Mraz. Keri Hilson. Aaliyah. PCD. Goo Goo Dolls. James Morrison. Colbie Caillet. Michael Jackson. Mario. Jack Johnson. Alicia Keys. John Legend. Marie Digby, Boyce Avenue (covers). Life House. Danity Kane. Kanye West. Leona Lewis. Lil Wayne. Maroon 5. One Republic. Usher. Passion. Pharrel. Tamia. Rihanna. J. Holiday. Janet Jackson. Bobby Valentino. Anything and Everything.

Today, the weirdest thing was said to me. My mother told me that every time life throws a curve ball at me, I give up. When she first told me that, my initial reaction was “what?! that’s completely absurd!”, but as the day went on, the more I thought about it, and the more I realized that she was right; to a point. In my life, I have given up on things that I thought I would never achieve in life, throw it down, and try something else. Like when I was small; I swam for the first time, and since I almost drowned, I quit. I hated it. (Years later, of course I learned, but that’s not the point.) Piano is another thing. I liked piano, but from the fact that I resented classical music and my teacher only taught that, I started getting lazy, which led my teacher to push me harder, which led me to quit. (and now I regret doing that, because I absolutely love the piano; still, of course, not classical) And now, I think I’m still programmed the same way. I am terrorized by paint. I go to art museums and by even walking around campus, I see talented painters; and I am terrorized. As much as I love art, and as many times I’ve tried to actually sit down and paint (like 3 times haha), it never turned out fantastic. My mindset completely took a turn of 180 and kind of put myself on a road of giving up. It just got me to thinking. For the past sixteen years of my life, I have been making so many regretful choices through the mindset of “I’m never going to get this” and “I’m not good enough.”; Does that mean that that is how I will be for the rest of my life? I mean I have so many aspirations in my life; this mindset of “I WILL change the world”, and yet the teeniest things screw up, and I just let it go? So when I find someone I love, and the going gets tough, I bail? And say I find this perfect job, and the boss yells at me, I quit? The thing that makes it so absurd is that I give off this vibe of perseverance. I am the epitome of never giving up to many people. Is it the things that I enjoy that make me not give up or am I just an all-around hypocrite like every other American?

Another thing that I realized about myself, and well, about the entire human race is that we care too much. Unfortunately, not in the many ways that we should. Instead of caring for those billions of starving people, people inevitable to death, well, people who are less fortunate than ourselves, we care about others’ judgment on ourselves. We are so self-absorbed, that I think whoever our creator is (according to your beliefs), is afraid of revisiting this place that He or She created because of this unethical madness that we have to call home every living moment of our lives. So how did I come up to this conclusion all of a sudden? So I was running my 7 miles today to that one spot I always run to (Which I wont state because I might have stalkers reading this blog; sorry I have paranoia.) and I didn’t stop running when I got there because there were a line of cars passing me. I kept on running until there were a huge emptiness in the roads, which were, unfortunately about three blocks later. Let me tell you, after that tiresome run, I couldn’t help but ask myself why I put myself through such madness. I have this mindset; this completely ridiculous mindset that lets strangers in cars, who probably don’t even look at or care about the runners on the sidewalk, “judge” me. You see, I was thinking that as a runner on the street, I might seem to Americans that I am just full of perseverance. That people in cars will pass me by thinking to themselves, “Oh man, now that person is getting fit. I should try that some time” or “You go, girl. Keep on running.” If a car passes by and I was running but then coming to a walk, they might have this judgment of “Haha, that girl couldn’t make it to the next block” or “Wow, she just gave up”. I mean, I don’t know why, but I would rather have people see me walking a whole entire block than to see me running and then walking. I swear. My mind is killing me.

2009 is starting out very interesting-ly. My mind just likes to talk to me for some odd reason. I think about things more often than I used to. Things that every kid, or person really cares about. Things that seem overrated to me (some days). Cliques and popularity. I honestly do not know where I stand in my high school social hierarchy. Some people insist that I am popular (which I find completely ridiculous and not true). I mean, If you know our school, you would know who the “populars” are. I would not say that our high school is like the one in the movie Mean Girls, but we come pretty close, if you think about it enough. And thinking about that, I don’t know where I stand. I mean I have a set of friends that are absolutely amazing, but we are all different in every way possible. We enhance the best (and maybe the worst) in each of us, but not define who we are as individuals. I don’t see any of us as a cliché clique in those high school movies that we watch just for the heck of it, and well, the good thing I guess is that we don’t have much drama. I find drama between friends and boyfriends completely pointless. I hope that I will never become those people who cant sleep at night because of a fight between themselves and their boyfriend or best friend, or any random person at that. I actually like sleep, surprisingly.

Peace&&Love,
Kathleen Tung.

kathleen is the name. im a dancer. june 9th is the most important day of our lives. (: i am a JUNIOR at walnut high. i have no idea what i want to be anymore. music is my life..its the only thing that keeps me sane when im out of it. i like to cook. I'm addicted to watching food network. I absolutely love comedians like dave chappelle, kevin hart, and russel peters. Italian is my forte. If i like you enough, ill cook for you. drama-free is the way to be. ill stand my ground when i believe that i should. Your opinion about me does not matter to me. When I completely support something, dont you dare try to oppose me. You will get ur ass beaten in debate. I am a great listener to problems. Fortunately for you guys, I am a person that you can trust, UNfortunately, i trust many people too easily. I dont like being a doormat, but im stuck in that rut. i try to believe that i control my own happiness, but thats never going to happen. im one of the nicest people out there, or so ive been told which sometimes is at my own disadvantage. i dont hold grudges, but i will fight back. I'm allergic to rudeness. I love songs, dances, words, situations, or even people that give me chills or make me cry tears of joy. talk to me on aim, facebook or myspace. dance with me. :] &truthfully, i'm not that great.

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